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Journal entries


March 3, 2012
'This is the unitive way' the Lord said to me, I unite my sufferings to his in prayer for others. This is what Jesus did: his suffering and death was for me.  My offering up of prayers in my time of suffering for healing of others, is the unitive way.


October 26, 2011
1John 2:15-17  I felt great hope as I read this.  And the Lord said to me:
'Your temptation shall be in the banal.'   I looked up the word and it means: commonplace, trite, trivial.  And I can see this is true, television, a conversation on the telephone.


October 31, 2011
'Two generations coming against each other: one wants to go forward; the other wants to return to the past.'  Wisdom for parents, children, caregivers...


November 21, 2011
The Lord said to me that I should be aware of His Presence, He is always with me.
'Be aware of My Presence; I am always with you.'
I had such Peace.


December 12, 2011
The Lord said to me that this is the sign that no matter what the situation, I am never alone: He has put Jack in  my life and me in Jack's life.  This is the Lord's sign to the world that we are never alone. This is the Lord's sign to the world in marriage, that we are never alone.


December 24, 2011
Luke 2:1-14  What came to me as I contemplated was that Mary and Joseph's journey was long and hard.
'In this life you will have trouble, but do not fear, I am with you through it all.'
'In this world you will have troubles, but here I am in the midst of it all.'
'I am with you and will never abandon you.  Trust in Me, My child.  Trust in Me.'


December 30, 2011
As I prayed the Rosary, this happened at the Fourth Sorrowful Mystery, The Carrying of the Cross.
I am praying for the Grace of a deeper trust in God, and God is showing me a little of who He is that I want to trust in: He feels the burden of my pain; He carries it in His Own Heart; He suffers with me.
He Whom I desire to have a deeper trust in, knows and feels my pain, and carries it in His Own Heart.
'Through your life, you know a little of what my Son felt.'


January 4, 2012
'As much as is your desire to do good things for your children, much more is My desire to do good things for you.'
I am praying for a deeper trust in God, and God is giving me a deeper understanding of Who He is.


January 4, 2012
Contemplation of Matthew 2:1-12
'My Son came into a world of conniving and deceit.'
This is how it is in our faith walk - even in the midst of conniving and deceit - He guides our path, fills us with Joy, blesses us with all we need, and protects us from harm, always providing a way out from under our difficulties.


January 7, 2012
The Lord (then) said to me: 'fear of intimacy.'
'You have been avoiding me in prayer.'
And he said to me that I have a fear of intimacy.
'Your experience of intimacy is that it comes with many demands.  This is the human way.  But it is not this way with me.  My way is Freedom.'
And the Lord brought to mind past relationships and responsibilities.  I sat as I realized I was receiving a healing, and I felt a warmth and Presence in my heart.

January 7, 2012
'The perceived demands that come with intimacy with Jesus seem too overwhelming.'
'The human way comes with many demands.'
'This is your experience.'
'But it is not this way with Me.'
'I bring freedom.'
I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.'


January 19, 2012
The Magnificat, Luke 1:46-55
All generations will call me blessed. Verse 48b
'What you have given your children will be carried forward in their lives
and in the lives of those they love,
because what you have given them is from Me.'
Holy is His Name. Verse 49b
'Your desires bring distraction,
My desires bring Love and Peace.'


January 25, 2012
Liturgy of the Hours - At the close of the Office of Reading, I read:
"When we listen to your word,
our minds are filled with light.
- It is the lowly heart that understands."
Then the Lord said to me:
'If you knew the treasure of God, in sitting in silence with His Word,
You would never speak again.'

What is the Unitive Way?

Journal entry
March 3, 2012


I fell the Lord saying to me to trust in him.
Trust in me my child.  I will heal you of this infirmity.


I am still suffering with pain in my lower back.  When I wake it is quite painful.  It is hard to find a comfortable way to lie down, I am still on my back with a pillow under my knees, to prevent me from rolling around, and to lift the pressure from my lower back.  I felt a pain down my leg when I tried to shift this morning.


I was up early, couldn't sleep, so went to lie down reclined again in the chair in the office.  And I did sleep, although fitfully at times.


I do have a great fear, that I will have a herniated disk in the lower back, and I prayed to give this to the Lord.


At one point, I was filled with great joy and the thought came to me that the injury was muscular and would heal.  How joyful I felt!


I found a position sitting as I prayed that was quite comfortable, and I thought I could stay like this and keep praying for a very long time.


My prayer at one point was for those I pray for, and it was then that the Lord said to me that he was pleased because I had prayed for others and not for myself.


Earlier the Lord had said to me that it was in prayer that he would heal me.  And yet I had prayed for others with no thought to myself.  It was then that the Lord said to me that he was pleased with me.


There are so many on our telephone prayer chain who need help and healing.


I thanked the Lord for rescuing me from the threat of a herniated disk.


During the day, my pain is little.  Thank you Lord.  I think it is the fear that is the worst.




Examen Prayer
I saw how I felt sad...I thought of how I was and how I may have to sleep in both rooms, beginning in our bed, and then here alone in the office, if I woke with pain. And I thought of a young man at Church and his wife, and I wondered if he suffered physically from pain.  And I prayed for him and for his wife.  I prayed for his healing, that he would be restored to full health and strength, this young man, and for healing for his wife as well.


And the Lord then spoke to me and reminded me of the words he spoke to me when I asked for Wisdom as in James 1:5 for healing for my back.  He had said to me that I should 'trust in the process' - and I saw how Jesus had entered into a human body with its restrictions of time and space, I saw his suffering and his carrying the Cross.


And I asked the Lord to teach me as I was being healed.


The Lord reminded me of this and showed me that now in my sickness I was praying for others.  And I now see that this is an answer to my prayer:  that I had offered up my pain and suffering, that the Lord would use it as he sees fit for his own purpose.


'This is the unitive way' he said to me, I unite my sufferings to his in prayer for others.


This is what Jesus did:  his suffering and death was for me.


My offering up of prayers in my time of suffering for healing for others, is the unitive way.


Thank you Lord.


And I cried tears of consolation and love.  How blessed am I. Thank you Lord.
Amen.


I have asked the Lord today
to teach me through this suffering.
and I offered it up again,
that he may use it however he likes,
if he would do so.


If there is anyone of you who needs wisdom,
he must ask God,
who gives to all freely and ungrudgingly;
it will be given to him.
James 1:5


Understanding the spiritual journey: from the classical tradition to the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius, by Jean-Marc Laporte, S.J.