What is your Cardoner River? Manresa: Fifth example.

 September 14, 2026, Journal entry

Over the last few days, these words have come to me, that the Lord is urging me to write down before I forget, that they not get lost...

On a day I was crying at the loss of my son, this I heard from him, that he was sorry I was having such a hard time, he kept repeating as I cried, to comfort me,
Jason:
"I'm so sorry, mom, I'm so sorry..."
Then as I was consoled by the Lord, he said,
Jason:
"Mom, your light is still shining, even through the sadness. Your light is still shining."

Then in the morning hours of Saturday, as I considered, whether I would be able to attend the funeral of the dear mother of other dear ones I know, whether I would cry too much...which I did as I considered going, my son again comforted me, by being there, thanks to God; as I calmed down, Jason said to me,
Jason:
"Earth is the journey to heaven."

Earth is the journey to heaven, these words touched me... all the ups and downs of life, not for nothing, but the journey to heaven.

There was also a day recently when I was in pain (for my son). And the Lord said to me,
The Lord:
"I give you your son."
And with this came the understanding that this was a comfort for me, to help me continue on, but also to encourage me to write all the things down that have come to me in this time of mourning. Thank you, Lord. How you know me, how you know me. Amen.

Late last night, I also received an understanding of words that the Lord had brought to me,
The Lord:
"The things that brought you joy, will now bring you pain."

I realize now that this was a word to help me.

Last night, as I got into bed, I reached for my electronic agenda, to set the time to wake this morning. And I saw the icon for Photos that were stored in this agenda, from years ago. And I heard a voice inside, saying quietly, 'don't look', 'don't look.' And I looked. And I saw the pictures from my granddaughter Samara's birthday, and she was about four or five, and she was so happy. And Sarah (her mom) was there and Jason (my son). So many beautiful memories. And then the pain came, as it is coming now. How can this be? How can this be, that they are both gone? And I know words now, can be a help, because it is so true, the things that brought me joy, are now bringing me pain. So, I must now choose, as much as I can, to continue on, to trust the Lord.

to leave the past to God's Mercy,
the present to His Grace,
and the future to His Providence...

until I see them again when it is my turn to enter the Kingdom.
Amen.

These things are not happening on the banks of the Cardoner River in Spain, but they are happening on the banks of the Cardoner River of my life,
This is now my journey to heaven,
Amen.

I have also been encouraged by the Lord this morning, this thought came to me on September 11th, to pray for those who lost their lives in the 9-11 tragedy in New York, but that I was to wait. Today, I prayed, with live adoration before me, from the Sisters of Divine Mercy in Alberta, on my PC, and I prayed the Divine Mercy for them. It is with the thought: that they will be invited to The Word of the Lord Goes Up prayer group in heaven. And so, I also prayed to my sisters in heaven,
Susan, Doreen, Norma, and also Ruby, Giovanna, Felicitas, and Phyllis, to welcome them.

It goes without a doubt that many who read this will wonder, as I do myself, but I trust in my God, who trusts also in me, to do His Will.
Amen. In Jesus' Holy Name.
And His Cross today. Amen. (Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross today).

Reference:

A PILGRIM'S JOURNEY

THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF IGNATIUS OF LOYOLA

Joseph N. Tylenda, S.J., IGNATIUS PRESS

Chapter 3 Manresa: Taught by God (March 25, 1522-Mid-March 1523)

Excerpts from sections 27, 30.

27. Having gone through months of darkness of soul, he finally learned that his teacher in all this was our Lord Himself.

One can see how God dealt with him in the following five examples.

30. Fifth. He was once on his way to a church a little more than a mile from Manresa. The road followed the path of the river, and he was taken up with his devotions; he sat down for a while facing the river (Cardoner) flowing far below him. As he sat there the eyes of his understanding were opened, and though he saw no vision, he understood and perceived many things, numerous spiritual things as well as matters touching on faith and learning, and this was with an elucidation so bright that all these things seemed new to him.  He cannot expound in detail what he then understood, for there were many things, but he can state that he received such a lucidity in understanding that during the course of his entire life - now having passed his sixty-second year- if he were to gather all the helps he received from God and everything he knew, and add them together, he does not think they would add up to all that he received on that one occasion.

When does a Colloquy take place? [54]

 August 19, 2026

Journal entry, morning prayer time.

Ezekiel 39:1-11; Psalm 23; Matthew 20:1-16a

Acclamation, Hebrews 4

"The word of God is living and active; it probes the thought and motives of our heart."

message: The workers at the last hour received the same wage as those who were called in the beginning.

This is what we want to see as servants of God...I want to see the last to come to Christ to be in front of me entering the Kingdom. I am happy to be last and to be ushering in many before me.

This has always been the thought I had in serving others.

Thank you, Lord, for I see many, all in my household here on earth, entering the Kingdom before me...my own beautiful son, Jason, and my beautiful daughter-in-law, Sarah! Thanks be to God!

Amen.

I prayed at the end of my prayer time for wisdom (as in James 1 verse 5) concerning a new ministry.

And the Lord's answer was this:

That I have written commentaries and other things to bring light to things that are not God's will for us, all my spiritual life.

This will be for another to determine.

I am to continue to write all the words of the Lord in this time of mourning, but also, what I have been writing in the previous book, Book 5..."Coming Home to Sacred Mysteries."

Book 6..."A Glimpse of heaven through the eyes of my son (Jason)

Conversations with Jesus and Jason"

Thank you, Lord, for this blessing and privilege.

This will be the final chapters of my life.

Amen.

"I am well pleased, my child. In this I find joy: your faithful and loving obedience. Always trust in me. Always trust in my word. And what you feel in your heart, bring it to me, and I will bring understanding and clarity to you. I am not a God who wants my child to guess and wander on her own. I desire a heart that is mine, and you continually give me your heart. Now, go to your day, and know this: I am ever with you. Always at your side. Above you, below you, within you. I am ever near.

God bless your heart, your words, your life, your love. God ever before you, God ever behind you, God always within you.

My child, my love, my faithful servant, companion, my heart. Amen.

I am well pleased."

I read this little bookmark I had made with a quote from St. Francis de Sales, which was in my Living With Christ missalette, as I prayed and reflected this morning.

'Always give heed to the Word of God, whether you hear or read it in private, or hearken to it when publicly preached. Listen with attention and reverence, seek to profit by it, and do not let the precious words fall unheeded but receive them into your heart.' - St. Francis de Sales; Living with Christ

My heart is filled with Peace and Love.

Amen.

References:

Note:

This journal entry will be added to my blog for today, as I have not been writing here lately, but in my online books, located on my website, 

LIFE AND DOCTRINE:

https://lifeanddoctrine.ca/english.html

Please scroll down to see:

Book 5, Coming Home to Sacred Mysteries

Book 6, A Glimpse of Heaven thought the eyes of my son

Conversations with Jesus and Jason.

Book:

DRAW ME INTO YOUR FRIENDSHIP The SPIRITUAL EXERCISES

A LITERAL TRANSLATION &

A CONTEMPORARY READING

FIRST WEEK  The Contemporary Reading

[54] "Colloquy" is a term that describes the intimate conversation between God the Father and me, Christ and me, or perhaps Mary or one of the saints and me. This conversation happens on the occasion of my putting myself as totally as I can into the setting of the prayer. I will find that I speak or listen as God's Spirit moves me - sometimes letting myself be carried as child, at other times expressing myself as lover or friend, and so on. A colloquy does not take place at any particular time within the period of prayer; it happens as I am moved to respond within the setting of the exercise. It is true that I should mark the actual end of the hour of prayer with a definite closure - usually the Our Father or some favorite prayer is a reverent way of my bringing an end to a formal prayer period.